Now what do I do?

A look back at last year's first day of school when Helena headed off to kindergarten and my entire world changed in an instant.  I think I've recovered and I coped fairly well today.  There were lots of new kindergartners today, so I'm sure many, many Moms out there who exhaled today for the first time in what seems like forever. 

I can’t believe it!  (And by can’t, I mean don’t want to.)  It started with, “I can’t believe Helena will be starting Kindergarten soon.”  It morphed into, “I can’t believe Helena will be starting Kindergarten next year.”  Then, “I can’t believe Helena will be starting Kindergarten in the fall!”  And now… Helena will be starting Kindergarten in…days!

What the heck happened?  I remember sitting at a school Mass last spring with Helena beside me and thinking, wow, next year I will be back here all alone.  Right on cue, Helena “whispered” to me, “Mommy, next year you get to drink coffee and watch TV and I’ll be in Kindergarten!” This has been her response for the last year or so every time I ask her what am I going to do next year.  I can’t believe she’s so ready and I’m so not.

With the eldest, the first day of school has become bittersweet.  I still cry after walking her to class, but they are genuinely happy tears over her love of learning that has continually blossomed since she stepped foot in HGA as a tiny, 3‑year‑old preschooler.  I love that the idea of school makes her bounce out of bed each morning.  Part of me is sad over not having her home every day where I can witness how ridiculously fast she is growing up.  The other part of me is like the guy in the back to school commercial – you know the one – dancing through the aisles to “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.”

I’m sure most of us play the back and forth game all summer, entertaining the mental melee of wanting the lazy summer days to last forever and get these kids back to that school before BCCYS shows up!  The best thing about back to school at HGA though is HGA itself.  Since Farren started school here, the Parish and the school have become a second home for us and a crucial part of our faith.

When I see what a sad state this world is often in, it brings me great comfort to know that each day my girls will be wrapped in love in the little cocoon that is HGA.  Some criticize a Catholic education as being too safe, not diverse enough, and not a true reflection of the “real world.”  That’s okay with me.  I’ll keep my girls in the HGA cocoon as long as possible.   There will be plenty of time for the real world later on.  In the meantime, they are gaining the wisdom, knowledge, faith and fortitude they will need to  take on the real world soon enough.

So, in light of this milestone back to school year for Helena and for me, in answer to the question about what am I going to do now, I offer the following to-do list to begin on August 29th.  In an attempt to keep myself honest, I offer two lists:  

What I’m telling people I’m going to do after August 29th…

	What I’ll really be doing after August 29th…
Shed a few tears over my baby starting Kindergarten.....................	Cry the ugly cry all the way home, pulling over multiple times because I can’t see well enough to drive
Catch up on my reading of Chaucer, James, Whitman, Tolstoy, etc. ....................................	Re‑read Breaking Dawn before the movie comes out on 11/18
Head to the gym each morning after the bus leaves.......................	Go back to bed
Volunteer at all the places I haven’t had time for since 2002..	More volunteer time at HGA!
Organize 9 years’ worth of photos and keepsakes in beautiful scrapbooks......................................	Go back to bed
Attend daily Mass ..........................	There’s a Mass every day?
Mow the lawn so Chad doesn’t have to when he gets home from work..................................................	Pay the kid next door to mow the lawn before Chad gets home from work
Couch to 5K training......................	Couch to … 5 hours of TV and I get the remote!  Couch to … 5 cookies that I don’t have to share! Couch to … 5 hour nap!
Volunteer for lunch duty 3 x week	Savor lunch, alone, 5 x week while watching Young & the Restless in its entirety
Start knocking out those minor home repairs...................................	Go back to bed
Learn to groom Bella myself to save some cash ..............................	Drop Bella off at groomer and head to the salon
Get on my knees in thanksgiving for having been mostly successful in these first 9 years of motherhood ...................................	Get on my knees in thanksgiving for having been mostly successful in these first 9 years of motherhood.

Happy Feast Day of St. Helena

Our youngest little angel with the crooked halo has a very special name, Helena Caroline Christ.  Both of our girls actually have a lot of meaning behind both their first and middle names.  I hope to have as much input for confirmation names in the future, but we'll see.

When we were expecting said little angel, we had a long list of names to haggle over and haggle we did.  We agreed we wanted another family name and we agreed that my much-loved sister's name had to be included in some form.  We got a list together of grandmothers, great-grandmothers, their mothers, aunts, etc., and started to sort it all out.

The decision making then turned relatively easy as one name kept coming up over and over.

I never had the blessing of knowing most of my grandparents, just my mom's mom. The rest had either passed away before I was born or weren't on speaking terms with my parents or my parents with them - you know how it gets with families.  My husband however, fortunately, knew and spent time with all of his grandparents on both sides and even great-grandparents!  His grandfather, "Pop" is still with us at the sprightly age of 92.  Paul Winifred Christ lives on his own in the same house he's lived in most of his life.  Pop has been a widower for over 20 years.  This bachelor lifestyle has probably contributed to the orneriness often seen in people who are blessed to live so long.  The orneriness though is quite refreshing at times and is oftentimes perfectly delightful to have his unfiltered honesty at holiday dinners and birthday parties.  Pop (a.k.a. "Pater"), is one of seven children.  The rest of the Christ Clan was made up of Uncle Bill ("Peach"), Uncle Woodward ("Woody"), Uncle Norman ("Nook"), Uncle Clarence ("Tiny"), and Aunt Ferne.  Ferne never got a nickname - I suppose being the only female was moniker enough.  Their other sibling, Howard, died at the tender age of 2 so he hadn't lived long enough to get a nickname.  Pop is currently the last man standing having lost Aunt Ferne earlier this year.

All of these children were raised by one tough cookie of a woman named Helen Reber.  She dropped the Christ surname after kicking her no-good husband to the curb.  This was unheard of in her day and I can't imagine the backlash and whispers behind her back she must have endured.  However, Great-Great-Grandmother Helen raised her brood in a tiny little house in Laureldale that I think still stands today.  To heat the house, she would send Pop and his siblings to collect coal that fell from the trains that went by.  The stories of  "Grammy" are many and a wistful look always comes over the person or persons recalling them.  At the time that Ms. Reber was raising her family, prohibition was making it very difficult for a lot of people to self-medicate their way through the depression.  But, Ms. Reber had a solution for all parties involved.  She ran a distillery in her little home and used the money to raise her family.  I have a feeling this woman was tough as nails and tender hearted at the same time.  She knew what had to be done, so she did it.  As the legend goes, the fuzz got wind of her operation and Pop and his siblings had to dismantle the distillery and throw it in the river one night.

Having heard her story a lot of times since moving to this side of the Keystone State, I was on board with naming our precious little baby girl after this woman, Helen, who was years ahead of her time.  I have a feeling she didn't take crap from anyone, but obviously she loved her children in all the right ways and did her best with what God had given her.  Helen was a name I could get behind.  And, any woman who knows how to build a contraption that makes liquor - in your living room - is a woman I can love for sure.

Today, August 18th, I've discovered, is the Feast Day of St. Helena of Constantinople, mother of Constantine the Great and finder of the True Cross of Jesus Christ.  I'm sure I looked some of this up when we decided upon this derivative of the name Helen, but today I'm finding it all the more meaningful. 

"At the age of 80, Helena led a group to the Holy Land to search for the True Cross. On a pilgrimage to the Holy Land, she discovered the True Cross. She built a church on the spot where the True Cross was found. The Feast of the Holy Cross on September 14 celebrates the event. Thus in art, she is usually depicted holding a wooden cross."

I'm even happier today with our choice of names for our little pixie.  She has a nickname too, around here she is known as "Gummi-Bear."  She has proven herself already worthy of such a strong and well-storied name.  I can't wait to see what she becomes in life.  In a few weeks, we'll be attending a much-anticipated, long overdue Christ family reunion.  I'm excited for the girls to meet their extended family members.  I'm excited for our little Helena to meet all of the relatives who are here today because of St. Helen of Laureldale, Patron Saint of Making The Best With What You've Got.

The Exquisite Value of All Women

What Guys Need to Know about Women
(So, make them read this article.)

 "Women have beautiful, essential qualities that add to – not detract from – progress, development, and success. We’re intuitive, creative, and sympathetic to the needs of others, which enables us to foster cooperation and caring. We have an innate need to nurture, which can show itself in countless ways that can be productive, uplifting, and motivating. We’re motherly (whether or not we’ve given birth), which gives us an aura of dependability, understanding, and trustworthiness. All women have these qualities at the core of their being. If any of us seem not to, it’s because it’s been neglected or inhibited."

Read the rest here from Catholicmom.com.  Awesome post.

Sprucing Up My Domestic Church

I've long had a list of things to do to my little domestic church to make it more "churchy."  For so long I've been afraid of putting anything permanent on our walls or of investing in any big interior decorating projects. Most of the time it has been for lack of time - but as the girls get older and items around the house become a little safer, I may have to really start looking for what I'd like to decorate our home with.  We have the standard crucifixes in the bedrooms above or near our beds and palms under the mattresses. There are Saint prayer cards tucked all over and rosaries for the choosing on every headboard from the plastic glow-in-the dark variety, to wooden beads from Israel (wait, I think that one is missing...), to pretty crystal ones.  Mary is surrounded by flowers in the front yard.  We don't have any kind of large crucifix though.  My sister had ordered one from a little convent in Rome where the sisters take items to the Pope's general audience to have blessed or something.  Try looking up crucifixes online... so many to choose from, I have no idea where to start!  I guess hubby and I will just have to go shopping and see what we like. We usually spy some at antique stores but I'm always wary of it's history - could be good or bad - but it's the unknowing I don't like. 

I think what we need now too is some real art.  The hubby is a big fan of the Renaissance.  I'm more of a Monet girl myself.  We'll have to meet somewhere in the middle for some holy art.  In Pittsburgh, just about every Catholic home has a picture of the Last Supper in the dining room.  I haven't seen that around where I live now, so it must be a Burgh thing. I'd like a few pretty pictures of some kind, ones that I can find that speak to us.  While I was thinking about all of this this morning, I came across an article on one of my favorite sites CatholicMom.com. It's all about the "Sacred Heart Enthronement" for families.  This is going on the to-do list.

For a little background, the Redemporists are big believers in the Sacred Heart enthronement and a family devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. According to them, with the Sacred Heart enthronement, “Jesus is invited to participate in all activities of the family. He then sanctifies all the details of home life. By the Enthronement and under the influence of the Sacred Heart, each member learns intimacy with Jesus. Either as a family or individually, each will grow in confidence and love with the One who longs for our love. Thus, the gift of the Enthronement is an awareness of His Living Presence in the family and a source of grace and blessings for the family.”

What a great idea!  In the meantime, whilst cleaning out our walk-in closet yesterday, an impromptu project that turned into an all-day affair, I came across a wedding gift from my mother-in-law.  I think she actually gave it to us at my bridal shower.  It's a mirrored cross.  I had hung it in our apartment after our wedding, but then it got packed away until we bought a house. Then we had to sell our first house, and when we moved here I guess I just put it on top of the box my wedding dress is in and forgot about it until yesterday.  I handed it down to Sr. MM who promptly stated that it was "stupid" to just have it on a shelf.  She's right - it is stupid.  No, it's not a crucifix - but does it matter?  It's pretty.  It kind of reminds me of my mother-in-law and her faith, that I must admit I envy at times.  She's not Catholic, but she has an unwavering, joyful faith in the Lord that I sometimes cannot grasp at all.  She never protested when my hubby told her that he was converting to Catholicism.  So, a few drywall anchors and some holes in the wall later and ...ta-dah!

I chose to hang it at the top of our stairs.  We have a two-story entryway and the sun comes in the window across from where it hangs and I think it will really light it up on a clear day.  I hope it becomes a reminder for all of us of the light that He is in us and for us if we don't keep Him on a shelf collecting dust. 

The bastardization of tolerance continues...

I'm a big fan of people saying everything I want to say about an issue so I don't have to.  Thank you Elizabeth Scalia over at The Anchoress.  

 This is not about being “right” or “wrong” on an issue. This is about menacing and bullying people into conforming or paying the price. It’s about the bastardization of the word “tolerace” in our society, to the point where the word no longer means “live and let live” or “let people be who they are”; the word has become distorted in a very unhealthy way. Someone’s a bigot? Let him be a bigot; like it or not, a man is entitled to his damn bigotry. Someone’s a curmudgeon? Let him be a curmudgeon. Someone’s a misogynist (or, conversely, a male-hater?) let them be! People are entitled to be who they are — just as a church is entitled to be what it is — free of government compulsion to be what they are not. We cannot “make” people be more loving. We cannot “legislate” kindness. A bigot, or a hater (of any sort) will eventually find himself standing alone, will have to figure things out for himself. Or, not.

Brilliant. Read the rest here. 

Cheers for Christ-Centered Womanhood

Put down the Glamour, the Cosmo, the Star, and please, for the love of all that is holy, the National Enquirer.  Read this instead and see how you feel afterwards.

An excerpt...

"One doesn’t have to look long or hard to see that the dignity and character of women are under assault in our culture. Advertisement agencies consistently resort to using provocative images of women as marketing ploys, while the entertainment industry promote edgy female celebrities as icons of “real womanhood.” Given this cultural climate, is it really any surprise that many young women today battle low self-esteem, or that standards of modesty and chastity are being steadily eroded? Despite the best efforts of even well-formed Catholic women, this cultural onslaught can leave us doubt-ridden and confused about who we are called to be as women of God."

http://catholicmom.com/2012/07/23/dignitas-magazine-living-out-our-femininity-with-dignity/

What happened to training bras?

As the mom of a 10 year old and a 6 year old, I am grateful that we are able to send them both to Catholic school.  The uniform is my favorite part!  Well - maybe not the most favorite, but it's darn close.  I find with the 10 year old, we call her Sr. Mary Margaret (or MM for short) - when we shop for regular clothes for outside of school, she's still in the sparkly panda bear t-shirt phase.  She doesn't really care for the fashion so much as does it sparkle and does she like the color.  I haven't had to fight her too much on picking out clothing.  I'm sure the day is coming. 

One thing I have noticed though - what happened to training bras?  In the store the other day - bras for girls who don't really need them, but all their friends are starting to wear them, or maybe they just need a little extra fabric under t-shirts - are padded!  Yes, padded bras for 10 year olds, well I guess 8-12 year olds are the target consumers based on the sizes offered.  To this I have to say, what the hell?  Now, it's not good enough to patiently wait and yearn and pine for when the good Lord will see fit for your healthy development to begin - it's okay, no waiting necessary - just get some padding! 

I'm sorry, but padding should be reserved for 21 and over and more especially 40 and over after you've had children and gravity begins to take over.  I've had to shop the sports bra section for anything that even resembles a training bra for MM. 

But, for both of the girls, finding clothes that fit and keep them looking like little girls is hard!  Dresses are the biggest challenge.  I find that dresses for any occasion for girls are just miniature (if you can get smaller) versions of the juniors dresses - and those should really be reserved for the over 21 or college crowd, when you wear them because you are away from your parents who would tell you to march your butt right back up the stairs because you are not leaving the house in that!  Can I find a pair of jeans that don't show everything from behind?  Do we need a Trendy-Top for the tween crowd too?  Yes, please. 

Bratz dolls have been banned from our house since they arrived and I'm not particularly fond of Barbie either.  I give her a pass because she does throw Midge a bone every now and then and she seems to have accomplished a lot in her life even without eating and obviously spending most of her time at the plastic surgeon's office. 

Bathing suits are probably where I'm a bit more lenient.  I love a toddler in a bikini.  I love that they have no idea and could care less that their Buddha belly is protruding.  I don't mind the bikini on MM either, just because there isn't anything to reveal - yet.  But I see her watching the older girls at the pool with plenty to reveal, but she does point out how "inappropriate" it is.  Thank God, again, for Catholic school.

I dress pretty modestly - mostly because I hate the way that I look.  Actually, I loathe the way I look and I try to keep those feelings to myself because I don't want the girls to ever know I feel that way.  If I was in better physical shape, I probably would buy nicer clothes, I'd buy lots more clothes, but not revealing clothes.  I'm more of an LL Bean, Talbots, and Lands End girl.  They have great stuff - this year's summer dresses were awesome.  My dear hubby is seriously color blind, so to him, the perfect combination is anything navy, white and khaki, mostly because he can see the contrast of the colors so I have a lot of that.  Forced modesty by the visually impaired spouse.  There aren't too many micro-minis in navy blue.  When I do have the occasion to dress up and put my big girl shoes on, I think the girls know that I'm dressing up for Daddy.  His is the only opinion I care about.  And as the included article sums up - how we Moms feel about our appearance does a lot for how our daughters feel about theirs. Hopefully, I pray I'm on the right track in teaching them what makes them valuable and what can send the message that they are invaluable. 

The one area I'm failing in is make up.  I'm a make up junkie. I have been since I first started using it, which was way too early.  I have to have it perfectly applied and I rarely go without it.  I'm putting Lasix surgery off because you can't wear eye make up for 2 weeks!  2 weeks!  I'm waiting for that time period to be shortened.  I was away for the weekend a bit ago and actually went an entire day, in front of people, without a stitch of make up on.  It was a huge thing for me - sounds pathetic, but for me it was big.  I do notice that the girls are really into make up.  This summer it's almost every day where there is a hint of blush, a request for just a bit of mascara, etc.  I guess it's time for me to step away from the eyeliner, but I won't be leaving the house on those days.

Obviously, I'm not the only Mom with these concerns.  Should 6 year old girls be trying to look sexy?